Pray for Eduardo

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about Eduardo, the young man above. He is super nice and rarely gets riled up. Pretty much everything he does is done in a matter-of-fact way. We are pretty good friends in school and I try to encourage him as much as I can, even though he often would rather give up instead of study.

But he needs Jesus just the way the rest of us do.

Eduardo is approaching a point of his life where he needs to start making decisions that will affect the rest of his life. But he is very passive and seems to be content to just let things ride and see where they lead.

Some of his passivity may come from his insecurity about himself. He is an intelligent student, but he is terrified of making mistakes. This could be due to his age (15) even though he is only coming to school for about four years now. There are younger students who know about as much as he does.

Eduardo knows about God. He has heard about Him pretty much every day since he has started school. We pray and talk about scripture in class. Some of his classmates have accepted Christ. He knows about all that.

But it isn't personal.

Like I said, Eduardo needs to start making some decisions soon, where he wants too or not. And there are a lot of bad influences around him that he could easily follow. I may have said this before, but sometimes it feels like everything is stacked against these deaf youth. Many of their families could not fully support a Christian (and by Christian, I do NOT exclusively mean Mennonite) lifestyle which makes it very hard for them decide to follow Jesus.

I feel inadequate to be a mentor for this young man, but I feel like God has placed me here for a reason. I want to do the best I can.

So pray for Eduardo. Passivity is one of the devil's best tools and I'm afraid of what could happen to Eduardo should he not stand up and make hard decisions. Pray that Eduardo could begin understand his insurmountable value to God, even if he feels pretty small sometimes. Pray that God would keep "knocking at his door" as the Bible puts it.

And pray for me. I am a flawed human being. However, I desire to live so that Christ could be glorified, and if God can use me to provide a means of mentoring and providing an example to Eduardo, I will endeavor to fulfill that responsibility to the best of my ability.

Down and up

This week was rough. Let me just put that out there right away. But it did end well, and for that I thank God! Now I have a nice weekend to get ready for another school week.

But let me tell you a bit about what happened.

It all started today in math class. It was test day. Of course, with tests it's always better to focus and think hard in order to finish confidently. But that was not to be.

Paola and Beatriz have always had this problem with cheating. I have reminded them again and again with varying success. Anyway, I saw them signing again while they were supposed to be doing their tests, but whenever I looked their way they just looked at me innocently.

I asked them what they were doing and of course I was told it was just random conversation. I knew better (why hide your signing if it's normal conversation?), but I decided to let it go and let them finish their tests. Plus that would give me some time to think and ask God about what to do.

As class went on, they began to finish their tests after which I told them to study. Teresa was the only one still working. She had been working hard the entire time. Eduardo, Beatriz, and Paola (now finished with their tests) began talking and laughing even though I had told them to focus on their studying.

Then Teresa started acting strangely. She couldn’t focus on her work and she was doing awfully on her test. I figured maybe it was because she knew what was going on. But I didn’t ask her about it until break time. She said nothing was going on, and that she didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Finally school was out and I asked Teresa again what was the matter. Still nothing. I asked her about Paola and Beatriz and she said she had seen it too. Of course, I told her I wouldn’t tell anyone she told me that. Then I called in Paola and Beatriz separately and they both admitted they had cheated. Beatriz had been asking Paola for test answers, which Paola had been furnishing when I wasn't looking.

So I told them that because they had cheated, and because I had warned them before, their punishments would be, among other things, getting a score of zero for their tests. I also wrote a note explaining what had happened for their parents (Bethany in Beatriz's case) to read.

As for Eduardo, I told him he had been disrespectful for talking and laughing when I had asked him not to. Another punishment for him, which he understood and accepted.

I decided to ask Paola and Beatriz further why they had cheated. I asked Beatriz if she was afraid to make mistakes. She admitted that yes she thought I might be mad if she gets a lot of mistakes. That was pretty hard to swallow on my part. I had wanted them to get good grades, but it had not been my intention to make them be so terrified of making mistakes!

And Paola confirmed what I thought might have been happening in her case. Paola has always wanted to be friends with Beatriz and Teresa, but she never seems to be able to fit in. Paola sometimes feels like an outcast, and will do whatever is necessary to garner favor from either of those two girls. So when Beatriz asked her for help, she thought this might be her chance to make Beatriz like her for a while.

I explained to Paola, that although her intentions were good, helping someone cheat is just as bad as cheating yourself. Beatriz is responsible for her own work and needs to think on her own.

Anyway, that was my day pretty much in ruins. The day ended on that sour note. And up until they left, some of the girls were still angry and hadn't accepted the consequences for their actions.

...

The next day was not much better. Although Beatriz had repented and was trying to be happy, Teresa and Paola came to school angry and would hardly crack a smile all morning. I had hoped that a new day would erase the previous one's griefs, but unfortunately that didn't happen.

However, I wasn't about to let any of that stop me. I was determined to be happy regardless!

First period: gone. Still no change.

Then at recess I talked with my fellow teachers about what had happened. They advised me to deal with the anger issue head on. I really did not want to, and I resisted the idea for a while, but I decided they were right.

So I called a meeting and told Teresa and Paola very clearly, that this behavior could not continue. Their anger was not just ruining their day, but also everyone else's. I explained that while it might be feel good for a while to be angry and ignore others to get revenge, that type of behavior is a mistake.

I asked Paola how it felt when others ignored her, and if she was really sure she wanted to inflict that kind of pain on others.

I advised Teresa to really think about what she was doing. Was it God or satan that she was giving space to when she harbored ill will in her heart? I also told her that since, she is the oldest of the girls, she bears the brunt of the responsibility, since the others learn from and copy her behavior.

...

Looking back, my fellow teachers were very wise indeed. The girls owned up to their mistakes and tried to improve, leading up until today which was such a good day! We had more tests, but this time they tried their best and left it at that. Such a huge difference in their attitudes!

I should probably close my epistle soon, but maybe just a little bit more: please pray for wisdom for this inexperienced teacher! I may know sign language, but there is so much more to learn. I want the best for all my students and I hope I may be able in some small way to help them on their way to Christ. It really hurts that someday I'll have to leave them and it's hard to think about it, but I want to do what I can for them while I'm here.

Also pray for my students: Teresa, Eduardo, Beatriz, and Paola. They are not young anymore and some of them have yet to make a commitment to follow Christ. Pray for them and that they could make good decisions and heed the Father's voice.

My Sunday School class at church. Left to right: Maria, Teresa, Paola,
Eduardo, Mauricio, Kevin, Elmer, Verónica, Ana, Zulma

Let's see how far we can run up the tree. I won. :)

Miguel gets a much needed clip.

Nice shoes, Miguel! And the color is just...

Miguel "ironing". You can see by Verónica's expression,
that he probably still has much to learn. :)

Today's art class focused on shading and drawing curves.

Paola gives my Rubik's cube a go.

Back again

Hello there!

Yes, yes I know... It's been a while.

Anyway, life has been going fairly well here. Time keeps flying by as usual. I'm sitting here right now listening to the wonderful sound of raindrops pummeling the tin roof above me. Grass is getting greener now and it's the start of my favorite El Salvador season--the rainy one!

The last two weekends (when I usually write updates) I was at the guest house in San Salvador. It was really nice being able to take it easy for a few days.

But getting back to school related news--last weekend we had the first of the thrice-annual spelling competitions. My students all did well and some of them even surprised me with their final scores. Paola had been getting in excess of 20 words wrong on her tests, and according to my rule, she had to write each one 20 times, equaling a total of 400 words or sometimes more. But a few weeks prior to the competition, I guess she decided the situation was serious enough to put in extra studying. When test day came, Paola only had three words wrong. I was stunned! (But now I know she can learn faster than she lets on!)

For the competition, all of the girls were fairly close. Teresa won with a perfect score in the written exam and the spelling competition. Paola was second with only one mistake in each part, and Beatriz was third with a perfect exam, but two mistakes in the spelling competition. Standing up in front of everyone and spelling words makes her really nervous. I think she might have won if it hadn't been for that. Eduardo also did well, but hopefully he'll do better next time!

We've had a few visitors these past weeks. Two of Liz's friends are here from the states and helping us with some work. Today, two people came to scout out El Salvador to see about voluntary service opportunities. They arrived at school this morning and sat in several classes. And two weeks ago on the way to the cemetery to bury an aunt of Becky (Nata's wife) I look over and see Thomas Fisher calmly sitting in a minivan. Since he was there, I knew a certain special someone wouldn't be far away. Sure enough, I spotted Susanna and Cecilia Ramos a few feet away talking excitedly with all their old Salvadoran friends. I had known the three of them were coming sometime, but they didn't tell very many people the details of their trip so they could surprise everyone. I think they succeeded...

Answers to prayer are really exciting, so I'll share one with y'all. Beatriz has had a rough life at home every since she was small. Her dad has always had a problem with drinking and mistreating his family. Her mom has moved away from him at least once just to get away from it all. I'm sure we haven't even heard half of what has happened there, but it has been very hard on Beatriz. Ever since she became a Christian and started wearing a veil and a dress, she has had to endure anything from weird glances to downright abuse from her parents and those around her. But she has never stopped being faithful. She always comes to school with a big smile and a desire to do what's right no matter what others do or say. You can read more details about that in a post that Melody Eash wrote last year.

But God has been at work in that family and has answered many prayers. Beatriz's dad knew that drinking was not good for him or his family, but he wasn't able to quit completely. However, these last few months he has started going to church regularly and has quit drinking completely. He even came to school for a parents' day which I thought was really unusual. Beatriz says he has changed and she is so happy that she can go with her dad to church! She has experienced first-hand the power of God and it is so encouraging for her to finally see her prayers being answered in that regard.

So join me in thanking God for the miracle he has done! Sometimes it feels like these deaf children have everything in life against them. But sometimes things like this happen and we again remember that God is in control and that he will perform His will in His own time. And also keep praying for that family. Beatriz's mom had always wanted her husband to improve his life so he would stop drinking, but now that God has done that, she fails to encourage him. She is Catholic and so the idea of him attending a Christian church doesn't appeal to her. It somewhat feels like she wanted to use God to make her husband stop drinking, but now she isn't happy with how He did it. Please pray for her as well.

Thank you to all of you for your continued support and prayers. God has been very faithful here and y'all have played a big role in that! God bless y'all...

Liz, the surgeon, along with nurse Tiffany attempt to remove a splinter
from Paty's toe.

Getting in some practice time...

We took some time off of school to make our Mother's day gifts. Paty and
Liz helped the girls, and I helped the boys.

Yea, you're going anywhere, Miguel. :)

Sisterly love.

Maria and Paola have been good friends ever since
they met at the beginning of this year.

Making the El Salvador specialty--pupusas!

Joel tries to concentrate on the word he is spelling during the competition
while Jairo and Miguel wait their turn.

Some of the guys looking at books at the tail end
of our weekly guys devotional time.

When there's a lizard in the church house, you drop everything
and chase it out!

Either Antony grew five inches overnight, or those pants are a bit short.

How high can we stack it?

A hug from God

Don't judge me. I am a guy and I like hugs. :)

Last week was just one of those weeks. It wasn't bad, but neither did it go well...

I still struggle with managing my classroom sometimes and that was one of those weeks. Besides school challenges, it was also a time when I really felt like God was trying to teach me patience and humility through various happenings during the past days. (Oh, by the way, never ask God to teach you things like that if you're not completely serious, because God is just waiting to honor such requests). :)

Anyway, finally it was Friday when I could sit down in the afternoon and get some rest. I had a conversation with a good friend of mine and tell them about some of the things that had happened. I was able to rant for a while and let off some steam. Everyone needs to do this sometimes--it's really therapeutic! In addition, I was also to receive a lot of sound advice and encouragement to keep going at it and do my best.

But of course, the very best way to get alleviate stress is to go to the One who knows everything. No matter how many times I mess up, He is always there ready to forgive and listen to my problems, struggles, pain, etc., etc.

As I prayed, it felt like all that garbage in the form of stress, fear, and other weights began sliding off. It felt wonderful! But that was not the end...

I reached for my Bible, opened it, and started reading Psalms 137 which was where the pages fell...

How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land...

Though the Lord be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly...

The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever...

...thou understandest my thought afar off...

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether...

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me...

If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me...

...marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well...

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting...

Of course, these verses were all in Spanish, but somehow that just made them seem all the more wonderful. I was overwhelmed! It seemed like God was saying "I know how you feel, but I'm still here. Listen to this... and this... and this...". Out of all those verses, the third one (Psalms 138:8) was the one that stuck out the most and has become one of my favorite verses. I see it pretty much every day now...

And that is how I experienced what I call a "hug from God". The purpose of this post is to glorify God for His goodness. Please don't leave thinking "poor Sam, he has such a hard life being a missionary in another country". Just...no! Instead, thank God for the many times he has answered prayers--both mine and yours! And keep praying for me if you think about it. Your prayers really do make a difference.

And maybe the secondary purpose would be to encourage YOU as well. Are you feeling down in the dumps? Not sure where to turn? Feel like your many responsibilities are crushing you?

God is willing to hear you. Your experience might not be as dramatic as was mine this time, but God will listen if you are sincere. God is always there, my friend...

Pray for Carlos

This is Carlos...

He hasn't had the easiest of lives. Actually, who am I kidding, I bet 95% of the people reading this haven't had to go through close to what he has experienced.

Carlos was actually born as José Luis, but we didn't discover that until last year. If I remember right, his mother died when he was really young which left him in the care of his drunken father. His "father" was naturally more concerned about his next drink, so Carlos was left to himself a lot. As a little tyke, he was found on the streets by government officials who eventually transferred him to Hogar Torre Fuerte (Strong Tower Children's Home) without much knowledge of his real father and mother (both of whom have died by now).

Of course, being an orphan is extraordinarily difficult for anyone, but doubly so for a deaf child like Carlos. At the children's home, he was given food, clothing, and shelter, but he often found it difficult to communicate with anyone. With the exception of a few people who took extra time to learn sign language, he had few friends who could understand all of what he tried to say. This coupled with Carlos' extreme stubbornness and issues with deceitfulness, made life very difficult for both him and his caretakers.

During the week, Carlos was able to come to the deaf school where there were other deaf children like him, but here too, people (myself included) often weren't sure how to deal with him. As an orphan, Carlos had learned to fend for himself, and so it was a constant struggle to submit his will to others.

At the end of last year at the age of 16, Carlos decided to leave the children's home, so he packed his things and said goodbye. Unfortunately for Carlos, because of his decision to leave the children's home, he was then not permitted to come to the deaf school, either. While I would have treated Carlos' situation differently, I think God has used Carlos' time out of school to help him appreciate more what all he has been blessed with.

During his time on the streets (again), he has often had to sleep under the stars or in the rain. He has made enemies, been beat up and nearly killed by people he angered, and generally had a rough life. But since school started, he has started coming around more to CICS and even to church. He isn't allowed to come to CICS whenever, but he usually comes around Thursdays to chat and ride unicycles.

I have always tried to show him love no matter what anyone else says or does by shaking his hand and putting my arm around him whenever I get the chance.

Anyway, these last months have shown a changed Carlos. The anger is gone, replaced by a constant smile. He has come around numerous times now and has never taken so much as a penny as far as I can tell. He always listens to and respects the people here. He attends church pretty faithfully, Wednesdays included.

Last Sunday evening, he came to church when we had singing and testimony time. For his testimony he expressed a desire to follow God and to grow in his spiritual life. He has said that before many times, but I believe he meant it this time.

Later, someone asked Carlos if he wanted to give his life to Christ and he acknowledged that he did! A small group of us went somewhere private and talked to him for a while about what that means. He confessed the things he had done in the past and asked God for forgiveness. He told God he would give his whole life to him.

All told, it was not a huge, emotional affair and we didn't hear angels singing or anything like that. And I admit I doubted that it was genuine this time and that he really understood what it all meant. (God help my unbelief!) But I believe it was real and I believe God and his angels were rejoicing. Many, many people have prayed and are praying for Carlos, and I believe this is the first step for him. Numerous prayers have been answered, and I pray that many more will come to fruition.

So please pray for this teenager. Pray that God would reveal Himself to Carlos in a powerful way. Pray that God would provide us with wisdom so that we could help and encourage Carlos. Pray that God would protect Carlos from all the evil all around him.

May we meet in heaven someday...

God at work

These last two weeks have gone very well, and I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for that. There's so many happenings these last two weeks to tell y'all about, but let me try...

First of all, remember that post where I asked y'all to pray that I could have more wisdom in the area of teaching my students correctly? Well someone was praying because that week went just amazing! God answered prayers above and beyond, and I believe is constantly showing me that He is still there even though I seem to forget at times.

Anyway, so I've always tried to have a disciplined classroom, right? I tried to keep my students well-behaved and respectful. Sometimes this meant watching what they're doing to make sure they're not misbehaving, or even cracking down when they misbehaved. However, sometimes I forgot that they aren't little kids like my previous students were (I still have to remind myself of that sometimes) and it seemed like my approaches were almost achieving the opposite result. Sure they obeyed, but it didn't seem like they did it out of respect, but rather out of fear (big difference). And as soon as I wasn't around or had my back turned all kinds of things happened.

At the beginning of last week I decided to let my students have a little more freedom, just to see what would happen. Of course, that didn't mean I let them do whatever I want, but I showed them that I trusted them by letting them do more on their own without me looking after them. Another thing I started doing was praying regularly for each of my students, sort of like that elderly man in Facing the Giants that prayed over each student as he went down the row of lockers. This, especially, has helped me to focus more on my students as unique creations of God in need of a Savior just like me, instead of only seeing performances on homework and tests.

It's been a real learning experience this year, but I thank God for the way he has answered many prayers, and for the way he has been teaching me through my students. I've learned so much from them already. And I can see they have been learning as well.

Two of my students especially--Paola and Eduardo--have been making great strides recently. Eduardo has been studying more on his own. Recently he had been struggling with the Bible verses we've been learning, so he buckled down and practiced in his spare time. On his last test, he was able to do much better than before. His attitude also shows much more happiness and eagerness to learn than before, probably partially because of the way the girls have started to egg him on. I told the girls the other day, that whenever they see Eduardo say "I can't", they have to immediately stop him and say that "he can!". :)

Paola has struggled to fit in with the rest of my class, through really no fault of her own. Teresa and Beatriz are best friends, so they hang out a lot, but Paola gets forgotten sometimes. I think this makes her feel inferior, so she doesn't always do her best in school. Recently, however, her amazing smile has returned and she has attacked her school work with vigor. She has been studying her vocabulary words and doing much better in general.

Beatriz and Teresa are also doing very well. Teresa does a very good job of being example to all of the girls by being respectful, kind, and doing her best in everything (well, except in Math, which she hates). I'm still working on her in that area. :) Beatriz still has her brilliant smile and light-hearted spirit which I so admire, knowing the home she comes from each weekend.

So yeah, that is some of what has been keeping me smiling these last two weeks. God has been really answering prayers and I can't thank Him enough. But, of course, we all know that Satan never stays away, so I pray that God would continue teaching me and helping me to do my best at fighting the good fight!

And speaking of Satan's attacks--please pray for Paty and Liz also. While school has been going well for me the last while, it hasn't always been so much fun for them, in fact I'm sure they would say it was very discouraging at times.

Paty teaches the class I had last year--Joel, Miguel, and Jairo. Miguel especially has been causing a lot of trouble lately for Paty. Miguel is such an adorable little youngster, but due to a lack of discipline at home, he has a lot of trouble with respecting authority, especially when he gets a new authority. For a few weeks now, he has been constantly trying to see how much he can get away with and just outright disobeying whenever he gets the chance. I know how this feels, because I dealt with the same thing when I first started teaching him last year, and it isn't fun. Day after day, it seems like nothing you do helps, and you end the day drained of all your energy.

Liz's two students--Maria and Antony--are the oldest and youngest students, respectively. Maria is very intelligent, does very well in school and always has a ready smile. She is good friends with my students and hangs out with them every chance she gets.

Antony is a bit of a different story, however. When he shows up at school which has been about 3 days per week (grrr) he has such a hard time focusing. He is all smiles, loves to tell stories, and plays with the other boys at recess time, but when it's time to listen to what teacher says he just can't. He knew the numbers 1 through 10 at the end of last year, but hasn't been able to get beyond that this year yet. He has such difficulty with doing any work on his own--Liz almost always has to help him in order for him to get anything done. The last few days have been much better, though. Here's praying and hoping that it continues!

Please pray for all of us as we do our best to teach these youngsters about academics, but also, and most importantly, how to walk the "Jesus trail". Pray for wisdom as we strive to model Jesus' teachings to all these young, pliable souls.

Oreo! Need I say more? :)

Teresa drew this picture representing what she did on the
weekend. Looks like she was helping Ana (her sister)
make tortillas.

Elmer and I at a restaurant on a volcano, where we all went
last weekend for a beautiful view and delicious pupusas!

Joel pretending to be a fish and "swimming" on
the hammock.

Mary paid us a visit from Mexico! Needless to say, she was the center of
attention.

Antony "preaching" to all his eager and ready listeners.

Relaxation when Teacher Sam has
run out of things to say. :)

Miguel practices riding the unicycle every chance he
gets. He can actually ride a few feet without any help.

Well that's... interesting. :)

Tug-of-war except more complicated. Fall off and you lose!

Liz and Paty going at it. Looks like Liz is about to lose!